da mrbet： Chelsea 0-3 Sunderland – With most of Chelsea’s England contingent picking up their monthly pre-International tournament injuries, a depleted Chelsea side were left with the task of pulling away from the drawing drawing Manchesters. It was a task in which they failed miserably, much to the surprise of absolutely everyone and their dog as Sunderland achieved – according to Match of The Day – “one of the greatest results in their history.” Which is certainly an achievement (and presumably a surprise) for a club who’ve won 6 League titles and 2 FA Cups in their time. The margin and nature of their victory will have surprised even Steve Bruce (still failing miserably to prevent his slow transformation into a fat lesbian, unhelped by wearing a woman’s skiing jacket) and certainly the bookies who priced the 0-3 score line at 250-1. Luckily for them that outcome seemed so ludicrous at 3pm yesterday evening they can be safe in the knowledge that absolutely no body would’ve taken it. Without Ray “Butch” – Uncle Fester – Wilkins to stare at them with terrifying sunken-eyed menace from the sidelines, the Blues seemed to capitulate entirely and were picked apart by a vibrant, adventurous Mackems side in a manner reminiscent of swaggering Champions League regulars. A clean sheet for the home side would’ve seen Petr Cech collect his 150th clean sheet (can you collect clean sheets? Is it like England caps only with linen?) but that looked a tricky prospect right from the off, as the away side peppered his netty frame with shot (19 in all) right up until the fat lady sung. They even had about 5 attempts in the build up to their opener, before Nedum Onuoha decided to casually walk past everyone before slotting neatly beyond the helmeted one. Asamoah Gyan continued to bolster his growing cult hero status by being the only one of Sunderland’s scorers to actually play for them, even if his now customary mid-electrocution funky chicken celebration was partially ruined by a silly white man with no rhythm trying to get in on it.
da marjack bet：
Everton 1-2 Arsenal – In a nice break from tradition, football acknowledged that some stuff might have happened at some stage before 1992 as the longest running game in top flight football recommenced at Goodison park. Arsenal became the only team to take advantage of Chelsea’s unexpected humbling by doing their usual Arsenal thing of passing it around a lot and occasionally shooting, only this time without winning a penalty. At one point Samir Nasri almost scored Michael Owen’s 98 Argentina goal and Chamakh missed an open goal from 3 yards out because it wasn’t on his head but in the end it was left to Sagna (ED: and not Song. Definitely not Song) and Fabregas to steal the spoils. Everton rallied but couldn’t do a Man United, like they’d done against Man United. For some reason in my head Diniyar Bilyaletdinov sounds more like a sentence than a name.
Spurs 4-2 Blackburn – With legendary Lilywhite and Tommy Chong/Cracked out old wizard look-alike Ricky Villa in attendance, Gareth Bale fittingly continued his weekly price hike and cyclical transformation from overrated Welshman to the greatest British player in the history of sporting awesomeness. Added to his repertoire of astonishing skills now are majestic heading and the ability to feign a scuffed shot for the purposes of bamboozling the keeper and slotting it right in the corner. The boy is an undoubted genius. Which was helpful for Spurs, having one of those incredibly fun looking days where they attack with free flowing abandon and defend in exactly the same way, because Roman Pavlyuchenko was trying his bestest to take woefully awful shots on goal throughout, even when he was given a free one from the spot.
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Villa 2-2 United – Meanwhile, at Manchester United’s second favorite English ground, Aston Villa conspired to throw away a game both Andy Gray and Alan Green had already declared they’d won before United somehow conspired to not win it despite equalizing with a full 5 + 5 minutes left. Frederico Macheda put his rather limited party trick of only scoring spectacular and important goals against Aston Villa to good use in one of the two yearly fixtures he can, after the home side had taken a commanding, deserved and comfortable looking two goal lead with 15 minutes to go. Nani continued to be a big gangly ball of contradictions as he whined and dived and failed to beat the first man from all 437 of his corners before delivering an absolute peach of a cross for Vidic to equalize. As far as “end product” goes, he’s been well above most this season, his Holy Baleness included.
Stoke 2-0 Liverpool – Down at the home of the only team in England to employ football as a tactic for when things aren’t going their way, Liverpool realized there actually are lower levels to sink to, as they were comprehensively outplayed and deservedly beaten by Tony Pulis’ side despite using their Big Four get out of Stoke away free card of favorable refereeing decisions. One hundred year old leather striker Ricardo Fuller put the home side ahead with a shot he seemed to make accidentally leading fans in the away end to start chanting “Dalglish”. And there was me thinking demanding knee jerk personnel changes based on past glories, club legend and nostalgia was solely the preserve of Newcastle United fans.
Other things I noticed. I’ve never seen a goal scored in front of a full Wigan end. Paul Merson is the punditry equivalent of that Chelsea fan who said “yeah” a lot. Johan Elmander is the new Lionel Messi. Carlos Tevez is rubbish at the hand of God but has had some kind of hypnotically powerful connection to the fans of all the clubs he’s ever played for and that famous Ricky Villa cup final wonder goal isn’t actually that wonderful.
You can follow Oscar on Twitter here; http://twitter.com/oscarpyejeary where you can join his campaign to get Audley Harrison to give him his £15 back.